I have yet to go on a dating site (not that there’s anything wrong with them - except eHarmony), but have many times contemplated it. Usually what trips me up is the witty/come hither/non-chalant one-liner I have to create to bait my soulmate. And then it totally dawned on me:
Pleated pants need not apply.
A man’s pleated pant symbolizes many deep, emotional issues that I refuse to deal with. If you choose pleats over flat-front, then:
a. You’re a textbook momma’s boy. Your mother bought you pleated pants when you were nine to wear to church, or funerals, or middle school recitals.
b. You have body issues. I have interrogated several male friends who wear pleated pants to scoop out the reasoning behind their sartorial choice. The answer more times than not is that they believe the pants make them look thinner. This is wrong. Pleats do not create any positive illusion. And I don’t really want to hear this from a guy; it’s just a step away from you asking to borrow my Spanx.
c. You don’t know anything about fashion. This is not really a problem, since you don’t have to know a lick about what Cathy Horyn’s writing about, but you do have to pay some attention to what pants are being displayed in the windows of J. Crew. Because then at least I know you shop in normal dude stores that cater towards a customer with a median age younger than 65.
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