I'm Sorry Jill Martin, But Why Are You Employed

For those of you who aren’t as mildly addicted to The Today Show as I am, you may not know of Jill Martin. Jill is the resident style expert on the show and therefore host of their weekly Plaza Ambush Makeover (a segment where the most pathetic looking and sounding person with the fanciest homemade sign gets to tell their sob story on TV and be made over, because nice hair and good clothes can make you forget the bank took your house).

Now, I don’t know when my true hatred for Jill began. I have been a longtime Today Show watcher, but usually just have it on in the background as I get ready for work. But over time, I started perking up for the big reveal moments when Jill’s chosen ones came out from behind the curtain to show their family members the new them. So I guess I do know when my hatred began. It’s when I actually looked at what she made those poor people wear.

I am sure Jill’s a very pleasant lady. But when you realize she is responsible for the embarrassing monstrosities that are supposed to be new and improved afters, I guarantee you will begin to hate Jill too.

I can’t figure out if the woman just doesn’t know what she’s doing, OR if she has assumed that anything she puts these Midwestern lost souls in will be an improvement from the pleated denim shorts they have clung to for years. Yes Aunt Frances – you WILL like this gold lame skirt I put you in. I am from New York and am on TV. You are the size of the trailer you live in and haven’t gone shopping in a decade. Wear the skirt. Love the skirt. I am a fashion guru.