Even Child Aliens are not Spared from Photoshopping Monster

Wow. After posting my manifesto on airbrushing mere moments ago, a Google ad popped up on my site - directly below the post - for PageantPhotoRetouching.com. It's a photoshopping service for tiny pageant participants.

As terrifying as this concept is, the pictures are even scarier.

Airbrush Rebellion: Could We Be Closer to the Real Thing?

Last September, Ralph Lauren Photoshopped a model's body so severely in an ad, that both a virtual and literal lynch mob sprung up to combat the bang-up job. The blogosphere went into a whirlwind of criticizing articles and general outrage, while NOW protested outside the New York flagship store and called for an apology not only to the public, but to the model - who was subsequently fired for not being able to squeeze her obese size 4 body into the designer’s clothes.

Everyday we are bombarded with falsities. Nearly every public image we lay eyes on has been digitally altered to some degree. And this becomes particularly dangerous when the images become unrealistic, unattainable versions of women’s bodies.

The reckless art(?) of photoshopping has been front and center in the news lately thanks to - brace yourself - celebrities. Britney Spears released un-retouched images from her latest Candies ad, which are eye-opening when compared to the official campaign photos, while both Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson appeared in mag spreads sans airbrush. Hopefully, this is the beginning of a movement that will help young girls to understand that in the world of media, nothing is as it seems.

See Ya

I'm off today to the sun-drenched Dominican Republic for a week of really potent rum, body baking, and more rum. I will be planting myself in the above chair wearing little more than this monokini contraption. Ah, can't wait.

Be back on the 29th - with a bizarre crochet tan line all over my mid-section.

The Mystical Powers of Face Shellac

It's no surprise that pretty people get what they want. Or at least a better chance at it. And according to a recent study commented upon in an article from Women's Health, ugly ducklings earn less than the so-called attractive swans. Although this is far from a revelation, it's nonetheless extremely disheartening. And to throw salt into the wound, the author of the article kowtows to the pressure, by pointing out instances of dolling herself up to get an edge over others. Instead of "holding on to my bronzer and gloss, just in case," maybe we can start to get angrier, and do something about the employers who give that tube of glittery gloss the magical power it doesn't deserve.

Bad Loehmann's, Bad

I have been betrayed by a longtime, loyal (up til now) , do anything for them, dear, dear friend: Loehmann's. Last time I shopped there, the woman behind the register told me I could pick like 15 magazines from a list they had and get subscriptions to them for free, just for being a Loehmann's customer. Wow, ok, yeah, sweet.

Not so much. Turns out you get the mags for a few months and then they start billing the CREDIT CARD you used to make your clothing purchase. None of this was explained to me, or apparently any other customers.

But, really, it gets worse. I called up customer service and asked them to cancel all of the mags. They told me in a sweet, robotic voice, "Yes, of course, all are canceled. Thank you for your business."

Again, not so much. My recent credit card statement shows several $15 withdrawals for the magazines that were supposedly canceled.

Why Loehmann's???? And after I've been so good to you.

Not All Brits Look Like Kate Moss, And Debenhams's Know It

Bear hug to Debenham's, a British department store who's decided to feature size 16 mannequins in their windows. They're the first store in the country to do so, as well as the first to actually come to their senses and tap into customers' needs...and bodies. The average size of a British woman is 16, so one would think this wouldn't be such a revolutionary venture. Alas, stuck in a society where normal and healthy is considered unprofitable, the idea is a scary one for many (all?) retailers.

Nevertheless, props to Debenham's for keeping it real.

Stylin...

Some new pics from my latest shoot with Simon Gerzina.

Sorry Joan, But Those Hips Just Won't Do

Barbie's back, and more unrealistic than ever. If that's possible.

Limited edition dolls of AMC's Mad Men were just released, and include a Barbie-fied version of Joan Holloway, one of the main characters on the hit series. Unfortunately, Mattel has decided that Joan's curvy physique is just not up to par, and has thus conveniently opted to cut her body mass in half, leaving only a red coiff and prim secretary ensemble to represent the character... and the women of the decade this show aims to replicate.

New York Fashion Week, How You Amused Me

Well, ye olde Week o' Fashion has come to an end, and I survived without crouching in a corner crying due to my severe uncoolness next to the furs, expensive shoes, and emaciation (all off the runway).

I covered a crap ton of shows as contributing fashion editor for Fashion.Style.Beauty - so you can hop on over there to check out my full opinions on Michael Kors, Vera Wang, Ports, Nanette Lepore, Siriano, Michael Angel, and others I can't remember.

But here's a quick recap of my favorite parts of the week:



Simon Doonan. He rocks my world, and I was seated across from him (okay, there was an ocean between us) at the Kors show. He wore brown sneakers, jeans, and a puffy coat. I wanted to take him home. Not in a sexual way, but to just put on my shelf and smile at.

Best overheard comments while waiting for shows to start:

"Is there still a warrant out for your arrest?"



Cupcakes and booze at Leanne Marshall.



Front row at Matthew Ames (which also happened to be my favorite show.) Yeah, so I only got front row because no one was there. Whatever, it counts. I got to see balloon pants.

Bwogging Is Fun, Mommy!

I adore Racked. If I had to choose one blog to have dinner with, it would be them. However, I have to air my grievances with the stint Racked National is pulling this Fashion Week regarding 5-year-old Katie.

Yes, I realize the li'l one's presence in the tents is most likely an intentional comment upon baby bloggers (namely Tavi) who cover major shows and have their reviews taken seriously. And while kids do say the darndest things, there's just something, well, annoying about this. And foreboding.

I'm also not happy she gets a front row seat when her legs barely touch the ground.

Day Two: Fur Dickies And Rorschach Walls

Today I full-on went for it and wore a freakin' fur dickie to the tents. That's right. I'm not scared.





Saw Michael Angel and Christian Siriano -- neither of which I was mad at. Perhaps my favorite part of the day was becoming lost in thought while staring at Angel's Rorschach backdrop. And grimacing at Siriano's ruffles. (Think I'm in the minority there.)

Check out my full reviews at Fashion.Style.Beauty.

Day One: City Girls, Pink Fur...

Covered my first two shows yesterday - would have been three if I had managed to wake up in time for Mackage.

Anyway, lots happened before, during, and after both the Ports 1961 and Farah Angsana shows later that day. Including Esther Nash in head to toe fur, The Hills or City or whatever girls doused in white smoke, and a total abuse of chiffon.

Check out my full coverage at Fashion.Style.Beauty where I'm playing the role of Contributing Fashion Editor this week.

Neither Snow Nor Rain Stays The Mighty Peep-Toe

This morning I bundled up and hoofed it over to Bryant Park to pick up my press badge for Fashion Week. Lots happened - including a crazy long line full of crazy weird people. Shocker.

But perhaps the most fun of all was watching the woman in front of us in the middle of a sartorial dilemma. Girlfriend arrived in ballet flats sans socks, realized it was, like, way cold, went home to change, and came back in..

these.

Tent Time - OMG, OMG, OMFG!

'Tis that time of year to enter the tents and watch a bunch of really skinny models walk around in really expensive clothes. Now, according to Kelly Cutrone, only the people seated in the first three rows of the shows matter. Like, in life. So therefore, as I won't be seated in said rows, you can choose to ignore my coverage (and that of the rest of the industry filling the seats) and only pay attention to what the important people have to say. I guess they do have a better view.

But if you do decide to tune in for my opinions, I'll also give updates on what I choose to wear and be judged in every day. (Remember, I have not gone shopping for anything other than what The Works has provided, so this should be a very interesting challenge, with no liquid leggings involved.)

Winter Stuff For Dirt Cheap At The Works

Picked up a few more things from Housing Works -- this time from the Upper West Side location on Columbus. Pretty much all clothing was between 3 and 10 dollars. Can't beat that.

My booty included a grey fitted, long blazer with an unusual mock collar for $5, an oversized v-neck cashmere sweater for $7, and a fantastic vintage pin for only $4.

Who Killed Teddy Bear Provides Quite A Fashionable Victim, And A Gay Elaine Stritch

I had the immense pleasure of attending a screening of the crazy, amazing, bizarro film, Who Killed Teddy Bear? For those of you who don't know of this gem, it's a cult thriller from 1965 featuring Elaine Stritch as a lesbian. Yesssss.

But more than the fabulously dated dialogue and hilarious cinematography, I thoroughly enjoyed the wardrobe of the lead character, Norah, played by Juliet Prowse. (Who was engaged to Frank Sinatra, acted with Elvis Presley, and appeared in L'eggs commericals. Thanks Wikipedia.)


Norah worked as a record changer (aka 1960s deejay) for a swanky nightclub and appeared throughout the film in a ridiculous white and camel fur-lined hooded coat. There was also a Grecian-like flowy top and skirt combo at one point that blew my mind.

And of course five thousand undergarments and a cone bra. I want to be her.

Awesome or Hooker? Can't decide

I'm on the fence with these. On one hand, mesh is a random, yet welcome change from the leather that usually makes up black heeled boots.

On the other skeptical hand, do we need to see squished toes, a sock line, or caged calves? And even worn with black tights, wouldn't you get a weird chafing noise whenever you crossed your legs?

Ok, I think I dig them. And know I can't afford them.

First Purchases From The Works: One Useful, The Other Just Pretty To Look At

I made my first purchase of the year today from Housing Works. As mentioned earlier, the Works will be my only source for new clothing this whole year. Off to a good start so far..



I found this pair of black leather riding boots with just a bit of a heel. They are really slouchy and comfy with a subtle lace-up detail in the back.



And then an AMAZING vintage silver clutch - for only $10. Very exciting.

Another Year-End List...Of Severely Annoying People

TOP FIVE WORST PEOPLE OF 2009 (all fashion-related in one way or another)

Kimora Lee Simmons. Why oh why is this woman successfully producing clothes?

The Gosseling Lady. She recently got a makeover. And we care because?

Sarah Palin. Smart wardrobe does not equal smart person.

People in charge of discarding H&M merchandise. Shame on you.

Jersey Shore Cast. I'm placing bets on when JWoww will go to Karma with just the fist-pumping music between her Brazilian and the Heineken-guzzling dude she's humping on.

Sartorial Resolution For 2010 (Wish Me Luck)

Back after an elongated, self-indulgent Christmas/New Year's break.

And have finally come up with a resolution for 2010:

The only clothing purchases I will make this entire year will be from Housing Works thrift stores. I've recently been visually merchandising for them, and, having always been a fan, see this as a fantastic way to get creative and break myself of the habit of frequenting H&M (who's morally vacant right now), Zara (who produces shoddy product), and Loehmann's (who I truly do love and will miss).

Plus, by only shopping the Works, the majority of my income won't go to my wardrobe.

Disclaimer: This decision does not exclude me from wearing anything currently in my closet. Stay tuned for pics of all future purchases....

And peruse their site to bid on the best stuff at the stores - what they put in those awesome windows.